Was this the subconscious reason I got into medicine?

“We come unbidden into this life, and if we are lucky we find a purpose beyond starvation, misery, and early death which, lest we forget, is the common lot. I grew up and I found my purpose and it was to become a physician. My intent wasn't to save the world as much as to heal myself. Few doctors will admit this, certainly not young ones, but subconsciously, in entering the profession, we must believe that ministering to others will heal our woundedness. And it can. But it can also deepen the wound.” – Abraham Verghese, Cutting for Stone

It's been almost a year...

So I've been doing some thinking, and I think that I will continue my blog even though I've been out of Korea for 8 months.

It probably seems strange but maybe not so strange: Everytime I watch Korean dramas, I get particularly nostalgic. I get especially sad though when I watch dramas that deal with school settings because I think about my experiences teaching: the students, the teachers, the dynamics, my homestay, and then the downward spiral of the tiny little details.

I just finished the drama Heirs. It reminded me of Korea--of Busan. I was just thinking about how beautiful it must be right now. I am sad that I missed the Cherry Blossoms blossoming and the walks along the river to see them.

Some days it feels like it was all a dream.

long time no post

Hi friends,
So it's been a while since I've posted. Life has been crazy. I'm now coming towards the end of my grant year. Less than a 100 days, but lately I've been considering staying longer. It's hard making this decision along with a few others about career choices and school choices. ---

But a quick update about the things that have happened:

I have travelled to SE Asia, gone back home for 10 days-ish, am currently in the process of becoming an Ajumma with my ajumma bfyl-Anna, had many dangerous/slightly life-threatening adventures all because of my own stupidity and also Anna's. I have gotten closer to my students to the point that they now are jokingly mean to me. I have befriended some teachers at school as well, but because I am so busy teaching this semester, I can't actually hang out with them. My life atm.

Things that I'm trying to do before my grant year finishes:

Take more pictures of my kids. They are so cute. I will miss them whether I stay or not.
Skype friends more.
Visit more places in Korea.

--peace, love, happiness

My Students

So this week would have to have been my best week so far for teaching. My students were great, my lesson rocked, and I really felt like I was finally getting closer to my students! Tuesday two of my boys made me promise to go to their soccer game. I did...at first they were screaming my name and shouting at how beautiful I was, but they would not come and talk to me during the break they would all sit like 2 meters away even though they made me promise them!! But they were really great at soccer.

the little ones playing soccer-in the playground

Then the next day was Halloween!!! So exciting!!!! This week was a zombie apocalypse lesson (they died hahah). But they thought it was hilarious that I was so into it, they told me after class, "Teacher, before we thought you were strict, but we know all lies. but now you just cute and funny. We love you!" So during Halloween, if they Trick or Treated to me they could get candy, I have never had that many students line up at my door (obviously for easy candy). I usually made them promise me something, some examples: "Don't use your comb in my class", "Come visit me, I am so lonely, I cry everyday because no one visits me" , "Why do you talk so much in class when I am talking, promise to stop talking when I am talking", "Control your classmates they are crazy", and a few 2nd graders just to annoy them: "3rd graders are so nice to me and are not rude to me, I will give them candy first".

And of course to my soccer players:
Me:  "You made me promise to watch you play why didn't you talk to me"
Them: "teacher, sorry, we were focused"
Me: "lies, you were talking to each other and your team was losing"
Them: "teacher, we were shy to talk to you"
Me: "don't be shy, I was sad because you did not talk to me, promise you will talk to me"

My club class students get picked on the most by me in class, but they love it because they know it's out of love. And they get to carve pumpkins which they loved. On the bag it was: PiL C For payal's Class.

Once in a while with a rude boy: "teacher ahhh your picture my eyes hurt" me to him: "I have to see your face everyday and my eyes hurt all the time, now you feel my pain" Cue class laughter. haha

My students are great though. I love them. They are veryyy active sometimes crazy. Thursday a group of girls invited me to lunch with them, my favorite student's girlfriend actually. And then I went to my classroom and 40 of my students were waiting for me and scared me saying "My lonely teacher we are here to play with you!" Some are brats though, when I told them no candy they left (but those are the 2nd graders).

They are great kids, and I'm so sad to think that in a few years, they will forget me, but I won't forget them, especially my third graders who are going to high school :( love them! But I think that it's one of the things with teaching you just grow to love them so much. They are my teeny-boppers.

And when they get in trouble: they must make me hearts to show me how much they love me, and until I am happy (because I am a girl, I need lots of love)

Love you, Miss you.Just a long update on school life.
MOMMY THANKS FOR THE PACKAGE!

The leaves are changing: No love.

So I've been incredibly bad at keeping up with my blog! But things will get better soon. There has been just far to much to update on but briefly: my host family is great. They are so warm and loving. My school is always full of surprises. My students are extremely energetic!! I'm a demanding teacher--as I'm told, and the 1st graders are a little scared to talk to me :(, my 2nd graders are too cool to talk to me, but my 3rd graders are adorable and wonderful. I'm so sad they will be leaving! My co-teachers are super helpful. Busan is massive!

At first I was very, very overwhelmed, but I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of the city and teaching. I have had a really hard time making Korean friends though :/ (Any tips?) I met recently with other ETAs in Gyeongju, had a few revelations about teaching! I'm starting Korean classes again this week--wish me luck!

So far, I have been sick, found out a student is my stalker, made a few close friends of students, become good friends with several co-teachers, and started forming a good relationship with my homestay family.

The things I want to do: see korea, experience tons of festivals, make korean friends, keep in touch well with friends and family from home, and develop a wonderful relationship with my students. Here are some pictures!

What I've learned: Korean students will say the craziest things, they have a great relationship with teachers-they are like parents to them, they are just like children anywhere in the world-crazy and adorable, fair/festival food is the same anywhere--fried and will make you sick.

PS: I have my mailing address! Just ask me for it!

love you all, miss you.
P

Yeongdo Island, Busan-A day of exploring and getting lost.

Jinju by night, lanterns afloat.

Lantern festival during the day food

Gyeongju in Fall-Beautiful. 

Gyeongju again. So cool. 

One of the only Buddhist temples not on a mountain in Korea-it's by the sea. 

Coming to an End: No Love

It's been a couple of weeks since I last updated and a lot longer since I wrote anything of substance. I'm not sure if today's post will take the substance approach or the rambling approach: bear with me.

So update:
1. We had camp Fulbright for the past two weeks in which we taught classes and were evaluated. It was honestly a great learning experience. I am used to being a perfectionist with everything always going the way I want it to. Teaching requires very much the ability to think and adapt quickly because lessons really do not always go the way you plan them. Sometimes it depends entirely on how the class is feeling. I really enjoyed the students and think that I've found my teaching persona, much like myself, bubbly but lacking the sarcasm (which is probably a good thing ^_^). "Payal Teacher"

2. Placements happened. As most of you know, suspense kills me. I was literally about to faint while I was standing waiting for my placement to be called to find out where I am going to be. Honestly, I can't be happier. I'll be in Busan for the next year teaching at a co-ed middle school! I'm super excited, but I'm a little sad because some people that I got really close to recently are no where near me, but traveling will be amazing!

Busan, South Korea (my home for the next year)

Check out this link: I plan on going to all of these places in Korea. http://www.cnngo.com/seoul/visit/50-beautiful-places-visit-korea-873093?page=0,0

3. I went to Seoul. It was awesome! Such a huge, but amazingly clean city. I'll be going back in a week with the full Fulbright group!

4. I'm helping plan the ETA Talent Show with 9 other ETAs. It's called the Kimchi Games-I wonder what it was named after...but the talent will be great, and I love putting the type A side of my personality to use in developing events!

5. This week was the first week that I've gotten homesick. My poor mother had to deal with me skyping her, and both of us would be upset together. It's kind of comical now, but it was really just a feeling of being around things that were familiar to me: my family, home, and friends. I haven't been able to keep up with any of those things here because of the time difference and everyone's schedule which sucks, but it'll hopefully get better once I get my own phone. I was able to skype with a few friends and just being able to see their faces and talk to them has been so nice. It's like I'm not cut off from all those that are familiar to me and that know me. The loneliness dissipates.

Seoul, South Korea

6. But now Korean language classes are coming to an end, along with orientation. We will be going to Seoul again in a week, writing speeches in Korean, and performing skits as well in Korean of course. I just finished my first day lesson plans as well! Mind-blowing! Super excited.

I have so much that I would love to share, but time is short, and I would rather just talk about it, so Skype me my lovely friends and family. :)

Miss you, love you, take care. 

The Perfect Weekend: No Scrubs

Donghae, the beach they took us to for the weekend. 

This was an awesome weekend: a perfect way to celebrate Primary app submissions! They took us on an amazing beach weekend. I ate so much yummy vegetarian food that I probably gained the weight that I lost being here! It was a really great experience walking to a Buddhist temple, hearing some lectures on the religion within Korea, eating yummy food, spending some quality time with fellow ETAs, bumming on the beach and playing all sorts of games. I also Norebang'ed for the first time! (karaoked! It was fun!!!)  Now back to the grind with lesson planning, intensive korean classes, and late nights up! Talk to you all soon! Miss you! Love you! And kakaotalk or Skype me!    --P

The scenic walk through nature to get to the buddhist temple. 

If you haven't noticed, the subtitle for the title is always the song that I am listening to when I end my blog post.

Picture of behind the temple

A lady at the temple.